Alien Jesus isn’t anything new, but at the same time he’s the most revolutionary concept in religious thought since the Original Jesus. And that’s no suprise, since they’re one and the same! How can this be? Brothers and Sisters, let me tell you the fundamental facts about Alien Jesus:
Roughly two thousand years ago, Original Jesus (or O.J.) came to Earth from a galaxy far, far away. His race’s scientists genetically engineered a human fetus for O.J. so he would appear human. O.J.’s consciousness was transferred into the fetus, and it was implanted in the womb of the woman we now know as the Virgin Mary. O.J. taught a message of peace and love that was honed over years of research by his people’s finest philosophers, social engineers, and advertising executives. He slowly accumulated a small but devoted group of followers, who could be counted upon to spread his message once he departed. O.J. manipulated Judas into betrayal as a pretext for him to leave our planet and move on to the next. Once entombed, O.J.’s people began the preparations for him to reoccupy his true body. After three days, it was time for O.J. to reoccupy his true form. His consciousness was seen departing our world, and many humans took this as proof of his true divinity. Over the intervening twenty centuries, O.J.’s original message has been perverted and twisted to fit the needs of self serving men who saw the opportunity for money, sex, and power. But Jesus is coming back just as promised, and he knows that mankind is ready to accept him in his true form…that of ALIEN JESUS!