Alien Jesus Collective
"For the discriminating paratheologist"
Go Ahead
Oct 6th
If TV is to be left to its own devices offering the demanding public what it wants, it’d certain implode. TV has never been as stupid as it is now.
Last night Derren Brown on British Channel 4, was yet again on TV, showing us just what it means to be stupid. He was performing live Russian Roulette (as if). Poster plastered across London proclaimed that now Magic is Dead (Jesus Motherfucking Christ, who revived it in the first place?). According to some press release the program was shown with a 15 second delay in case “something would go wrong”. So much for LIVE tv.
Anyway, the program was set in some dumbshit studio in the corner of nowhere, or at least so it seemed. We were thankful only to catch the last minute of the program. It was at that point that he picked up his loaded gun, pulled the trigger … and it went blank … nothing. What a surprise. Now it would have been absolute fantastic, we mean, a dream, if he’d actually gone ahead and shot himself. That truly would have been “magic”. The program was of such poor quality that you could hardly make out the audible difference between a blank chamber and bullet being fired. It was not even amusing or funny, just a fucking waste of everyone time. Master Moron Derren Brown even hugged the idiot who’d loaded his gun at the end of the program, as if he’d just achieved something great.
If only more people would truly shot themselves on TV, that would really spice up our lives. We can think of at least a dozen names.
Bush administration looks at the bright side of job losses
Oct 4th
Americans worried about their jobs moving offshore need to accentuate the positive, according to one Department of commerce official. By firing Americans and moving their jobs to places like India, American companies are driving prices down and productivity up!
And industry agrees! Just ask Gordon Coburn, senior vice president and chief financial officer at Cognizant Technology Solutions Corp.:
“On a long-term basis, I think that by our clients leveraging the offshore model, they are actually protecting American jobs.”
Coburn would have said more, but he had to deliver a speech entitled “Unemployment is your job” at the local Rotary fish fry.
Der Running Man
Oct 4th
Someone has figured out the real reason why Arnold is running for Governor in California…seems a Schwartzenegger victory could be worth $9,000,000,000 to power companies like Enron that overcharged California’s power customers. So far, Arnold’s campaign has refused to comment on his May 2001 meeting with Ken Lay and Mike Milken (documented in recently unearthed Enron memos), and with the election looming I doubt we’ll hear any official comment before the voting.
Rain of Toads
Oct 4th
Newsday.com: Frog eggs fall from the sky onto home in Berlin
These things do happen from time to time.
Life as we’re starting to Know it
Oct 2nd
“In the past 30 years, however, our knowledge of life in extreme environments has exploded. Scientists have found microbes in nuclear reactors, microbes that love acid, microbes that swim in boiling-hot water. Whole ecosystems have been discovered around deep sea vents where sunlight never reaches and the emerging vent-water is hot enough to melt lead.”
Columbine House Cleaning
Oct 1st
Columbine files to be destroyed
Victims’ families want depositions made public
