Alien Jesus Collective

Today was the big Christmas lunch at work. Bingo, food catered by “Super Mex”, a magician that roamed around the tables entertaining the workers. And the grand finale is a gift raffle. The best thing about the whole debacle is that it’s only a half day, but with a full days pay.

I was asked a few days ago by our Human Resources manager to assist as a card checker for the Bingo activity. Now keep in mind that the company I work for is a manufacturing facility and this festive lunch is held in the factory. Some equipment is moved out of the way in one of the assembly areas, tables and chairs are rented and set up in the middle of injection molding machines, imprinting devices and other mechanical monstrosities.

All 3 shifts of factory workers and the office folk total just over 200 people. So, with everyone seated, 2 tables at a time are permitted to go and get their plate of beans, rice and a cheese enchilada. This is where Bingo comes into play.

To keep everyone who is waiting for food occupied, Bingo cards are placed at each table setting and our “HR” guy calls out the numbers. Myself and another office worker had the task of tracking the numbers called out, and when some lucky winner called out “BINGO” checking their card and handing out a gift card from Target, Best Buy or Starbucks.

At this point, I have to mention that most of the 200 people in attendance are Hispanic and speak little if any english. Fortunately our “HR” guy is bilingual and calls out the numbers both in english and spanish. There is a slight problem though. The portable PA system he is using distorts when turned up loud enough for everyone to hear, and being in the factory there is also an echo.

In trying to keep the pace upbeat, he sometimes would only call out the numbers and letters once in english then repeat it several times in spanish which caused some of the gringos to ask me what the number was he just called. Then while answering their question, I missed the next number and letter being called out. The other person checking cards was having the same problem, so instead of the two of us dividing up the seating area, both of us would have to find a way through the crowd to compare our numbers and verify the winners “BINGO” then hand them a gift card.

Bingo went on for a little more than an hour. When it was finally over, the other checker and I were the last to get our plate of beans, rice and a cheese enchilada. The caterers were starting to pack up. There was no place to sit, so we ate standing up in the food area. After just a few bites, my plastic fork broke trying to cut through the congealed cheese and hardened tortilla. The caterers were now gone along with their supply of plastic forks. Oh well.

So now the big event… The gift raffle! Who will win the Crock Pot, Blender, 6 Person Camping Tent, Portable DVD Player, Cheap Digital Camera, Generic MP3 Player, A Set Of Luggage, Microwave Oven, A 19″ LCD TV…

Well friends, let me tell you that I am now the proud owner of a new set of dishes and a flatware setting for 4!!!

A merry Winter Solstice to you all!

Seasons greetings! 

Some of you may recognize Todd Schorr’s “Clsash Of The Holidays”, one of my personal favorites by this artist. I highly recommend visiting his website: www.toddschorr.com and browse his wickedly twisted sense of humor and art. You’ll find this excerpt from his bio there, and if that doesn’t peak your curiosity… well then never mind.

  “Todd Schorr’s artistic journey is one that hardly conforms to the time-honored stereotype of Bohemian artist. It is rather a post-war tale bracketed by an America infatuated with the limitless potential of consumerism. His formative years were spent in a world surrounded by the atomic and space ages, by Saturday morning cartoons and racks of comic books at the local drug store, a land populated by Revell models, Mad Magazine, Testors glue, Mickey Mouse and Rat Fink. Further fueling his developing image bank were the seemingly endless icons from television’s early years: Robbie the Robot, Mighty Joe Young and reel upon reel of animated toons from the likes of Tex Avery, George Pal and Max Fleischer The compulsion to replicate these characters led to a formal art education and exposure to a new set of influences drawn from the world of advertising and commercial art.”