I’m loving aliens instead

Jon Ronson accompanies big-in-England singer Robbie Williams to a UFO abductee conference in Laughlin, Nevada, and hijinks ensue. With a special guest appearance by alien implant doctor and frequent Coast To Coast AM guest Dr Roger Leir:

“It could be a lot of things,” Robbie says, cutting me off. “So, Dr Leir, this was given to you last night. Are you excited about what it may be?”

“In a word,” Dr Leir replies, “no.”

“Oh,” Robbie says.

“It could be a piece of nothing,” snaps Dr Leir. “I was recently sent an object that was surgically removed from an abductee. I put it under the electron microscope. It looked like an organic compound, so we went to the next level. We did a test that uses infrared spectroscopy. Long story short, it was a piece of wood.”