Alien Jesus Collective

A lot has been written and said recently whether or not Flight Simulation Games can be used to train terrorist. This particularly aspect of simulation software is extremely boring if not outright uninteresting. I seriously doubt you’ll ever be able to fully simulate the feeling of moving around a 100 tons of perfectly shaped aluminium on a narrow road. “Yes sir, but I am not interested in landing or take-offs, but only cruising.” Nor will one ever be able to completely simulate the conditions of a wind shear. The whole thing is mentally retarded, the bad kind of retarded. Let us instead look at completely different aspect of the simulation business, one very different I tell you.

I have friends who travel the world every once a while. The fly out from Airports across the globe, cross time zones and touch down in different climates. Whenever anyone of them fly somewhere I make it my duty to simulate their flight prior to their ‘real world’ departure. A simulated flight which has to be perfect with no room for error or a 4x time acceleration just because I feel ‘bored’. It has to be technically correct, the best kind of correctness. Or as close as one can get. I don’t have the uniform, nor do I eat something different than my co-pilot and my flight attendants must be on strike. My aircraft is modelled in Decreet GMAX, it bends but when it burns rubber upon touch down it doesn’t smell. If I look right I see not tarmac, but my shelf. But never mind those details.

If I don’t do it, something ‘could’ go wrong. It’s a bit like a technological man’s catholic church. Instead of praying I take them to the virtual sky, enjoying the carefully simulated retraction of the flap mechanism. Correct, Jesus isn’t there, and he isn’t needed, but the assurance within my own head that if I can do, so can somebody who’s actually educated to do the real thing. I can watch my simulated airspeed and my fuel consumption and make sure that the fasten seat bell sign is off even though I at 38.000 feet and enjoying my fourth beer. I might be slightly intoxicated, but it doesn’t touch my dedication, which is making sure that my friends arrive safely, ignoring publicly accessible security records. I’ve got my own records, buddy, and they don’t look good, so I better make sure I do this good.