Alien Jesus Collective

Buck Huff and Pope Legba share their thoughts on the first Democratic Presidential debate of the 2004 season.

Buck:
“And how was your weekend, Buck? Any UFO watching kegger parties?”
Nope.
I stayed home at 11pm and watched the first Democratic Debate. Interesting time,eh?
It was hosted by George Stephanopolis who did a very good job and it’s a good thing I’m typing this because I could never get a compliment out
of my mouth about him. 8 people debated, Dean and Kerry were pissy enough with each other to add some interest, Sharpton made good points in his very entertaining way, all knocked the Republicans. The most presidential looking, and in these media-is-god times that’s what’s going to get this, were Gephardt, Kerry,and the Kennedy-esque Edwards. Least looking was Dennis Kucinich who you could imagine having hooves and Star Trek memorabelia filling a rental storage space.

Legba:
Hell, if I’d known it was this easy to get invited to a Democratic Presidential debate, I’d have run myself! With eight or nine months left until the first primary, the Democrats have once again set themselves up to knock themselves down before the first vote is cast. If they focus on the issues during this time, it could stimulate a valuable national debate about the party’s values and the direction our country is taking. However, many of the candidates are already sharpening their long knives for each other. Of course, if they all damage each other beyond recognition, it could pave the way for a “Draft Hillary” movement…

Howard Dean
Former governer of Vermont

Buck:
Balanced the budget in Vermont, inacted reasonable health care. He has a nice way of summing up what he’s saying, gets to the point and has no problem with standing up for himself, no toadying from this one. Problem here is that Vermont …well, Vermont is a pretty nice place, not a lot of gangstas or trailer parks, folks in general are well enough off to live there so I’m not sure how he would handle the mean streets of the entire USA. Also, he makes curious dog faces. He doesn’t quite have the look unless they can get those gritted teeth under control. Still my favorite for President.

Legba:
Judging by the way the “establishment” troika of Kerry, Gephardt, and Lieberman went after Howard Dean in this debate, I’d say he’s rattled a few cages. The polls show him neck and neck with Kerry in New Hampshire, and if he can hang on to his position as the herd is culled in the initial round of primaries, he might actually have a shot. In spite of the sniping, Dean did get in some substantive policy ideas. Not a “warm and fuzzy” kind of guy, but he definitely doesn’t come off as the hated “pussy liberal Democrat.” Dean had my support among the Democrats going in to the debate, and he still has it afterwards.

Carol Mosley Braun
Former Senator and Former Ambassador
First black woman elected to the U.S. Senate

Buck:
In a fair world Carol would stand a chance. What holds her back more? Being a woman? Being Black? Probably being entirely too reasonable and peace minded. I like Carol alot and if she makes it to the primaries she’ll have my vote. Told a good joke too. “A black vote did decide the 2000 election. Clarence Thomas”.

Legba:
Funny, I remembered her as being far more shrill and strident. She’s either mellowed with age or toned it down this time around. Easier to be natural and relaxed when you don’t realistically expect to win. She’s in this to air her ideas and be the first black woman to run. More power to her for that, but she’s taking up space in an already crowded field. Nobody wants to publicly state the fact that the Democrats can’t win if she’s nominated. Still, having a black woman on stage with all those white boys will play well with blacks and women.

Richard Gephardt
Congressman from Missouri

Buck:
Oh, he’s probably an ok enough guy but he’s been in the system for too long, knows how things work, or more to the point, how they don’t work, but being able to tell people they do and everything’s fine. Probably does as much good as he can considering lizard people run the government.

Legba:
Coming from the “part of the problem” wing of the party, Dick Gephardt turned in an average performance tonight. Years and years of experience in Congress. As a former majority leader in Congress, he’s guaranteed to have lots of pull within the party. Nixon used a similar strategy in the 60’s, building political clout within the party by campaigning for Republicans across the country during his “wilderness” years, and then calling in those party favors in ‘68. Gephardt has “gravitas” (god help me for using that word), and his overriding goal at this point is to fly straight and level. He’ll be far more interesting if and when his campaign starts to flounder.

Rev Al Sharpton

Buck:
He’s Rev Al! And I declare him the winner of tonight’s debate. I’d love to see the parallel universe where he is the President of the United States or at least debate Georgie Boy.

Legba:
See my comments on Carol Moseley Braun. Although I think a black man could be elected as Vice President, Sharpton isn’t that man. If anyone saw Sharpton as a real threat, they’d be pulling archival footage from the late 80’s of Al talking about the Tawana Brawley case on the Morton Downey Junior show. In spite of his restrained performance tonight, there’s no way he’d play in Iowa.

Dennis Kucinich
Congressman from Ohio

Buck:
Dennis has the platform that I agree with the most, but I was disturbed to see that he’s been to the Al Gore school of emoting. His final minute where he raised his voice and pounded the table with his fist were awkward and embarrassing. Maybe a year or two with a Strasberg method could help. I hope so because I’d really like to see this guy in a high office one day, but unfortunately, we will never have such an ethnic name be president.

Legba:
Kucinich managed to make every statement sound like a whistle stop speech. Didn’t seem natural at all. The people who already agree with him continue to do so, but his delivery will keep most others from listening to his message. Also, I lived near cleveland when he was mayor, and I have to say that at the time I was less than impressed with his management of the city. For Kucinich to have a shot, he’ll need to get substantive discussion of that going in the press.

John Edwards
Senator from North Carolina

Buck:
Not this time, but give it a few years. If he can make it through without driving an intern off the bridge he’ll be a shoe-in.

Legba:
“Hi, I’m John Edwards. I’m like a Bill Clinton who can keep it in his pants!” Edwards piqued my interest when he discussed the erosion of civil liberties under Ashcroft’s Justice Department, but he lost me when he said the Patriot Act wasn’t a part of the problem. He could be Vice Presidential material this time around, but I think his primary goal is name recognition for a run in 2008 after a Bush re-election.

Bob Graham
Senator from Florida

Buck:
From Florida. No.

Legba:
Another candidate runnning for Vice President. Doesn’t convey any strong convictions, which is a real plus for the #2 position. I suspect he’s more of a heavyweight in the “smoke filled room”, because he didn’t seem like a slugger tonight.

John Kerry
Senator of Massachusetts

Buck:
Another old boy politician. Also has a swarmy, rugged, head swagger working it for him. Did he always cock his head like that? I haven’t seen such smug head cocking like that since Brad Dourif portrayed a demon in Exorcist III. If he gets an eyepatch and starts saying “Arrr, matey, vote for me” I’m moving back to Mexico.

Legba:
Kerry was the man to beat coming in to tonight’s debate, and I was a bit suprised to see him sniping with Dean. The war hero bit could be a strong plus for him against President Bush, but I don’t see it playing as well within his own party. Kerry should have taken a page from Dick Gephardt’s book and played it safe, because his approach tonight did nothing but diminish his stature. Not good for an annoited “front runner”.

Joseph Lieberman
Senator from Connecticut

Buck:
Never met a pharmacutical campaign contribution he didn’t like, yet will make healthcare for all Americans work? I think his gung ho support of extreme military action is going to backfire on him in the next year and a half. His last minute had him saying “When I marched with Martin Luther King…”, I could hear Al Sharpton’s hemorrhoids inflame.

Legba:
I hope he’s sending Al Gore royalty checks, because Joe Lieberman wouldn’t have been here tonight without Gore’s help. Lieberman tried to position himself as the only Democrat conservative enough to beat Bush, but his argument is a non-starter. His talk of Hollywood filth and video game violence is intended to court middle America church folk, but too many people on the Christian right still blame the Jews for killing Jesus. A Lieberman nomination will erode the party’s left flank, and he can’t capture enough of the right to make up for those losses.