Archive for April, 2003
Martin Luther Gene tells of his day at work.
Just one of the past due accounts on my “list”, not even for all that much money. As soon as I got past telling this woman who I was and why I was calling I paused intentionally as always to get a reaction.
“Well let me tell you what the situation is…” She paused, took a deep breath and continuied. “My father passed away recently. He died accidently, I don’t mean he died in like a car accident or fell down, he died as a result of a defective butane lighter that exploded in his face!”. “This is one of the first times I’ve been able to talk about it without breaking up…” and talk about it she did.
To sum it up, her father lived alone in a secluded area and after the lighter blew up in his face it started a fire that he evidently put out with his bare hands. It was 3 days before his body was found. She said there was burnt skin stuck to the wall near where he collapsed. “…and you could see the the stains on the carpet where his body fluids leaked!”. There was a lot more about problems with the insurance companies and the county required “clean up” before the property can be lived in or sold. I just let her go on. It was far more entertaining than any other call I would make.
So when her voice started getting shaky, and she said “I just don’t know what to do, or where to start!”, I said “how about I just fax you a copy of the invoice so you don’t have to look for the original?”. She thought that was a good idea.
“Here’s something I learned on Sunday: There’s a particular etiquette involved in trying to escape by foot from a field that’s overflowing with unexploded ordnance of every size and shape – all the way from ordinary hand grenades and rocket rounds lurking in the shrapnel underfoot to moon-shot-sized missiles lying awry on a destroyed flatbed truck – and whose farther end you notice has just been set on fire by a looter. “
Hoaglund is going to be insufferable…not like he wasn’t before but you know…
“Henning, who has said she believes that the U.S. and other world governments are run by puppets controlled by reptilian-alien masters, was indicted by a grand jury on 20 counts, including first-degree murder, kidnapping, tampering with evidence and perjury.”
“Putting Dan Amstutz in charge of agricultural reconstruction in Iraq is like putting Saddam Hussein in the chair of a human rights commission,” Mr Watkins said.”
plenty of “Buffy” in syndication at least.
now if only “Charmed” would end before all the three witches are breeding and decide to start a daycare center.