ScorpionThere are a number of reports indicating Saddam Hussein may have extraterrestrial allies. These reports seem to originate with a UFO sighting over Baghdad in December 1998, when a triangular pattern of lights flew over the city. The lights were described as similar to the Phoenix Lights seen in 1997. A number of UFO experts (and one or two Art Bell callers) assert that this 1998 sighting was the Iraqi equivalent of the Roswell crash, and that Iraqi scientists are busy reverse engineering the alien technology.

I’m more inclined to chalk this up to an alien anthropology mission. First of all, any civilization advanced enough to build an interstellar spacecraft must be able to pick up satellite TV feeds. If they’ve spent any time watching Discovery or the History Channel, they know that the cradle of human civilization is located in modern day Iraq. What better place to study the origins of human society than the place where it all began? Second, aliens studying Earth would certainly realize that the United States is currently the most powerful nation on the planet. As such, there may be interest in studying the nations we wage war against. If you believe the theory that Earth only became interesting to aliens after we developed nuclear technology, they would certainly be interested in any conflicts involving nations with nuclear weapons.

Worst case scenario? These UFOs are piloted by some sort of spacefaring Hans Blix, inspecting the human race’s arsenal. Wouldn’t it be ironic if aliens invaded the Earth because we possess Weapons of Mass Destruction and could pose a future threat to the stability of our galaxy? It might be worth it if they brought freedom and democracy to our planet, but I hope we don’t all end up victims of “collateral damage.”

If there is any truth to these rumors of a Saddam/space alien alliance, I strongly urge President Bush to share this information with the world. This would certainly qualify as tangible proof of the threat posed by Saddam Hussein, and would get the rest of the world on board with America in Gulf War II. Mr. President, if you can provide evidence that Saddam is in possession of alien technology, you’ll have won this American’s support for war.