Alien Jesus Collective

Religion has always been a core component of conflicts in the Middle East, and the current war in Iraq is no exception. When discussing the confluence of religion, politics, and war, the big networks tend to tread lightly. Boring! Some of the most interesting discussion takes place in the so-called “Christian” media. And in Christian media, it doesn’t get much bigger than Pat Robertson’s 700 Club. Here’s my take on the Friday (3/28/03) edition of The 700 Club.
A streaming version of the show is available here.

For those of you who aren’t regular viewers of the show, I’ll start with a bit of background. The format is loosely based on network morning programs like The Today Show or Good Morning America. The program opens on Pat Robertson and his co-hosts, Gordon Robertson and Kristi Watts. They say their good mornings, and then move directly to Lee Webb at the news desk.

The news is presented in a slick, network-friendly format, with prominent “CBN” logos featured in all the appropriate places. If you didn’t know better, you’d think you were watching one of the big networks. But there are a few differences. Embedded CBN reporter Paul Strand seems to deliver more of a travelogue than a news report as he describes the concertina wire surrounding his encampment and the fact that he only has 9 seconds to put on a gas mask in the event of attack. Then it’s back to the studio for a gander at the Situation Map. Pat Robertson is joined by CBN military analyst Colonel Bill Taylor. A partial transcript is available; however, they left out the best part of the discussion. As Pat gleefully describes the devestation being wrought by the latest round of bombs falling on Baghdad, one suspects that he’s leaking urine like an overexcited puppy.

While the crew mops up, we’re taken back to the news desk for reports on how Jesus is helping out a number of sailors in the Gulf, and why it’s Bill Clinton’s fault that women are involved in combat. Our taste for news thouroughly sated, we move on to an interview with Rev. James Robison. As we get Robson’s take on the situation, we’re treated to a montage of photos, all showing Robison with President George W. Bush. Most show Robison and Bush hanging out in the Oval Office, but my personal favorite was a still from Robson’s TV show, with Robson, his wife Betty, and Bush bent down in prayer. After the interview, we get some personal insight and analysis from Pat, who informs us that Robison is a “real man’s man”, and a great golfer.

Then we move into “Operation Prayer Shield”. Same wall of pictures we’re seeing on the big networks, except all the 700 Club viewers are doing extra prayers for these soldiers. “In the name of Jesus, Lord bring (Saddam) down!” After calling in this wrathstrike, we move on to the next feature. NASCAR racing’s Petty family discusses “coming to Christ” after the death of 19 year old Adam Petty in a racing crash. At the end of the story, Gordon makes an appeal for the non-believers to accept Christ and pray to him. The prayer is pretty much the standard TV conversion prayer you’d get from all but the most “fire and brimstone” TV preachers. New converts are invited to call in. Then its over to Kristi for a preview of the “man in the street” interview they’ll be running on Monday. Looks like it’ll be fun to watch…I might have to tune in. But we’re not even done with the fun for today!

After the break, Pat and Kristi answer e-mail questions from viewers. One astutue viewer asks the question that’s on everyone’s mind: Was the recent Iraqi sandstorm a blessing from God or the Devil’s curse? Pat discusses the pros and cons of the storm, and concludes that it may not be either one. Still, it must fit in to God’s plan somehow! Pat does make one good point while discussing the tactics employed by the Iraqis: if the United States were invaded, we might be doing many of the same things the Iraqis are doing. He does draw the line at using civilians to shield military units, but he’s quite understanding about the rest of the “questionable” tactics being employed.

The final item on the show was quite a letdown. A story about a teacher who was $18000 in debt until she joined the 700 Club. Soon after she started sending in her $20 a month, she was debt free! The old “seed faith” routine never goes out of style, does it? Pat Robertson uses a softer touch than most, but at heart it’s the same pitch Oral Roberts and his kin have been using since the dawn of TV preaching. The only real difference is the 21st century technology: now you can have your $20 donation automatically transferred from your bank account on a monthly basis!

I strongly urge all of you to make time for the 700 Club at least once in the next week. These people are the President’s core constituants, and he definitely listens to their opinions.