Alien Jesus Collective

It all looked pretty easy the first few days didn’t it? But between a few naps it’s all gone to hell quickly. The Turks are saying “We do what we want, whateva, whateva” and the Kurds are getting anxious. The fighting has gone into the towns and now THEY have some of ours. We keep killing Brits and from the way things are going we’re going to need every last man to “finish the job”. Come on, guys, collateral damage, knock it off. Iran got a missile landing in their backyard and the US word was..well, it was more of an indifferent shrug. We used to have diplomats to handle this stuff didn’t we? There’s got to be some who haven’t resigned.
And no sign of any weapons of mass destruction. In fact, in the Saturday, March 22, radio address by Pres Bush he used the term “weapons of mass murder”. Was this the usual verbal gaff or has our treasure hunt changed? Yes, a chemical factory has been found but a Pentagon spokesman on Sunday said reports were “premature’ as to it being the honey pot, and it’s been reported this was a known chemical factory from 12 years ago. It could be another aspirin factory so let’s go ahead and bomb it for Clinton. A bus of Syrians was either in or out of the border depending on what you read, and it was missiled. 5 dead. And the Saddam talk early on Monday morning (US desert time) was obviously taped before hand, somebody just say it, tired of all your “we’re not sures”. Everbody was so damn sure before this thing started. Sure about weapons, sure about quick victory, sure about Iraqis giving it up for Uncle Sam.
and what pisses me off the most really is that the coverage is even more snivelling, primped and primed, 15 minutes of famers pretending they are “news people”. One gal on Fox in the middle of the morning though, little sleeveless turtlneck, big rack, kept me from flipping to the “Dynasty” marathon on SOAP channel. We need more of this. In fact, let’s turn this war over to some good ol’ Daisy May types in tube tops riding in the back of pickup trucks. Send them out into the Iraqi desert to disarm ‘em. Talk about your psychological warfare.
Just try to say no to one of these backwoods nymphos when she gets her mind set on something. Does Daddy’s little girl want to take over Iraq? If she does, she’ll get it. You would only need about 30 of them and it would cost a fair bit less than 80 billion dollars. I expect a few gift certificates to Frederick’s of Hollywood and a an all expense paid trip to Graceland would do it.

In the words of my own personal backwoods nympho, Perly June:
“This war is soooooo stupid, have you seen my nail polish remover?”

I’m Buck Huff, about to go buy some nail polish remover.